Dear Noteblair,
The conversation started about this topic with one of my friends, on how I always have a positive attitude towards things, as we were digging deeper in my personality <casually> to see where is this coming from we realized a lot, in a good way I supposed!
One of my favorites hobbies, not only with myself but even with others is digesting personalities lol Why are we the way that we are?! If someone is unkind to me, the first thing I ask is Who hurt you?!…It is just in my nature that I think we are result of series of things that happened to us & our reactions to it.
After hours of digesting my habits, attitude, behavior & feelings we got to a conclusion that I truly developed this IDGAF attitude.
This was never an easy road for me, it was not short either. Because I have always been the kid who would give my toy to the kid who didn’t have it, I would always make jokes just to avoid awkwardness even if the joke was on me, I would always be the punching bag of a friend or boyfriend even if I did nothing to them, I would stay in friendships that I was disrespected or not appreciated because I would blame myself for others behavior! At one point of my life, I had to accept that I’m a people pleasure, even if the cost was my own happiness.
Snapping out of this was not easy, the most difficult part was dealing with the harm that I caused myself. The self doubt, never thinking I’m good enough, questioning myself, seeing myself as not worthy enough, all of that was my poor reaction towards the series of things that happened to me. Luckily one thing I have always been is strong. I knew I had to chnage my behavior towards the things that are happening, so I did!
I put 3 rules for myself, one always be kind & two always think with logic & three take responsibility for your mistakes.
It took me some time to break up relationships that were toxic & manipulating, took me a while to see myself as the kind, generous & sweet person that I am, took me a while to find a way to stand up for myself without being rude. But I did it without even realizing how I’m changing my mindset.
I know who I am & what am I about so honestly I could care less what someone who doesn’t know a thing about my life thinks! My IDGAF attitude does not mean I’m unkind or insensitive. I just learned to stop worrying so much about what others think, & care more about how I feel & before others. Carrying for others is one of the best qualities I always had, will always have.
People always will judge & have opinions about you. You can’t control what they think or what they say. You just have to know yourself so well to know that is not who you are & move on. Being in the industry that I am, I get judged for everything I do. From the way I talk to the way I dress up or even how my eyebrows look. This is my face, my accent will never change & that is okay! I kind of had to grow a thick skin by doing what I’m doing & as a result I could care less when a stranger thinks my accent is disturbing. I know who I am, I know what my heart is about & thats all that matters.
My IDGAF attitude lead me to be more positive. I don’t over analyze any situation, I keep it logical, learn my lesson & move on. I no longer see my worth through someone else’s lens because no ones lens will be as clear as mine. I know it is not easy to be this person, your confidence needs to be next level, accept that not everyone will like you, you have to trust yourself a lot & believe in yourself, always be realistic which is hard because <emotions> but for me this works.
I cared about what everyone thinks my entire life, it brought me no value beside harming my self esteem when they didn’t. There is nothing wrong with knowing your worth & value & not carrying when someone doesn’t see that in you because trust me either in personal life, social media, work & family there will always be many opinions & assumptions about you. Learn to believe yourself before believing others because no one will if you don’t.
Lastly, don’t ever be rude to anyone & label it IDGAF. Respect is a two way street, no mater what always be respectful of other peoples opinions even if it is not what you approve of. Learn to listen & move on. Standing up for yourself is a strength you will always need in life, but being polite is another strength you will always need. Don’t let any little or big opinion of others about you, your decisions make you uncertain about them. You believe in you & move on.
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