Dear Noteblair,
I have aways feared the word no. I tried my entire life to never ever put me in a position to ever hear no, did I lose a lot of chances & opportunities because of this fear? Absolutely, but it also helped me to have a very strong relationship with myself because I know I got me!
I recently talked about how I have always been a people pleaser & disappointing anyone has been my worst nightmare growing up. I’m sure you are sick & tired of hearing me talk about how much I love being an adult. With growing up you gain a different level of confidence, you straighten up your priorities & you learn when to say yes & most importantly when to say no. I love being an adult because of this!
It was so difficult for me to say no. I have always wanted people to know they can relay on me, I wanted people to know they can count on me but it comes a time that I had to choose me. I would go to events that I truly didn’t enjoy, I would help someone who was only using me & I would even break my own heart sometimes just to make someone else happy. Until enough was enough!
After starting noteblair, my life chnage a lot. Now I had something that was entirely mine & it was all my responsibility. Not only it was my passion but it became my job as well. My life was changing as noteblair was getting more attention. My passion for it was growing as well so little by little it was taking more of my time .In order to say yes to them I had to say no to myself & that truly hurt me…I had a choice to make, I either feed other peoples expectations & dreams or I built my own. You have to put the time & effort to study yourself & people around you to decide when it’s time to say no, no mater who are you standing against. Having this judgment, & having it correctly is a form of self care for me.
I learned my no is not the end of the world, if with my no a relationship is destroyed then it was never strong. I personally learned to say no with noteblair, however I wish I learned it sooner just simply giving more value to what I truly want to do. One sentence that is stuck in head from Scandal <amazing show to binge watch on currently> is when Olivia is asking “What do you want?” I ask this question probably 10 times a day or every time I’m making a decision. Because knowing what you truly want will help you decide & have the courage to say no.
Your no doesn’t mean you are disappointing others, your no doesn’t mean you are selfish . It simply means no!
It is so easy to overwhelm yourself by saying yes to everything. Taking as many job opportunities as you can, saying yes to all family gatherings, saying yes to helping friends. All of these are okay to do & it actually shows you do care about others beside yourself which is a great quality to have, as long as you are not stretching yourself too thin because honestly that version of anyone is not pretty & no one needs it, specially you.
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