Dear Noteblair,
This topic came up recently over few shots of brandy & cake at my cousin’s birthday. The question that I get asked almost every day either in person or on social media from everyone! When am I going to settle down & start a family…You know per usual I have a lot to say…we all know I’m very opinionated & I will say it as it is!
Short answer is… I won’t settle down!
Don’t get me wrong I don’t think I’m above all or no one is good enough for me! But I know who I am & what I bring to the table & I won’t ever not only in relationship but in business & in life settle! One thing I think everyone gets twisted on is that settling down is not the same as compromise. I make comprises in my life all the time, either family, friends or even work but I won’t settle down because to me that sends a message that I don’t see myself deserving the absolute best.
No one is perfect & I’m not claiming I am but I know who I am, I know where my heart is & I know what makes me the happiest. This does not only apply to choosing my partner in life, but it does apply to my friendships, family, life decisions & even to what companies I choose to work with which is one of the things I absolutely love about my job. I grew up in a family that my mom & dad tried their absolute best to give me & my sisters everything they can. At times it was not much & at times it was more than we could ask for. My mom graduated collage at the age of 48 which is unbelievable for me. They have always worked hard & that drive was built in me from a young age that if there is anything I want I have to work hard for it & no success comes overnight. They always made sure I know my worth & I always have to work hard & be patient for achieving my goals.
Being the only single girl among my friends & family it let me watch relationships from outside & it taught me a lot. I know realistically you don’t know what is going on as a 3rd person but I had so many amazing friends & family members who we have been super close & we talked about the struggles, the ups & down of everything they go thorough & with my own eyes I have witnessed what happens when you settle down. That settling down was not only financially but sometimes everything was great on paper but the chemistry was lacking or there was a mindset & culture differences & letting all of that slide was a settle down & not compromise because it lead to bigger issues later in life.
Every time I know I’m making the wrong decision or a loved one is settling I get this weird filling in heart that is not pleasant at all. I think it’s my hearts way of saying I’m making the wrong decision! Sometimes I push myself to walk outside of my comfort zone & try something new. Either it’s going on a date with a guy that I know in my heart he is not the one for me or agreeing to work with a company that I know is not the right fit, I always get that nervous, painful, shaky felling in my heart. I made many mistakes & learned from them. I’ve learned to trust my heart & believe it when it sends the message. When that nervous shaky feeling comes with joy is when I know I’m not setting & I’m growing!
I know it is hard to wait…trust me I know! It is hard to wait for your better half, it is hard to wait to success in your carrier, it is hard to wait to graduate…I know it is hard but I promise you waiting & achieving what you deserve is so much more rewarding. It’s a different kind of happiness! You deserve a partner who will not only adore you but will support every decision you make, who will be there front line cheering on your success & give you the safe space to grow & even make mistakes. You deserve to have a life partner that will love you for you, you deserve to have a job that you feel appreciated & needed, a carrier that you can’t wait to get up and do it all over again.
Life is about compromise & not settling down. Learn who deserves your compromise & never settle for less than what you deserve.
You deserve the absolute best in life ♡
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